Category Archives: Baby

4 months of Lucille Amelia

Who knew that four months could change you in such unerasable ways? The love I feel for Lucy is fierce, unlike any emotion I’ve experienced before. My body has never felt more purposeful: I wake each day to nurture this tiny, precious life. And yet my body has also never felt this exhausted: I am tired from the constant demands of parenthood…and it’s taken me four months to learn that it’s OKAY to admit it.

Lucy, however, is blossoming, and her development this last month has been particularly noticeable. She can now easily roll from her back to her stomach, and she’s almost sitting up on her own. She laughs (what a beautiful noise!) when we sing and kiss her toes. Papa has become the chief winner of laughs. Lucy has also discovered toys. A stuffed doll we like to call “Frieda” is now her constant companion.

Our little one is both passionate and observant. She wants to see the world and interact with those around her. She’s also become FIERCELY attached to mama. Our sweet cousin Laura has started to watch Lucy two mornings a week so I can work on a few projects. Laura has infinite patience for our very fussy little girl. Lucy cries and cries when I leave her now…only to erupt in smiles and giggles as soon as I hold her in my arms. While this often drives me (no, all of us) crazy, it’s also exciting to see that she’s becoming more and more human.

We’re still exclusively breastfeeding, and we’re hoping to continue to hold off on solids for another two months. She has become more interested in sitting with us during dinner and just the other night she reached out and grabbed my plate! I’m hoping that on Christmas day (exactly 6 months after she was born) we’ll be able to introduce her to food for the first time.

We also traveled to Houston this month so that Lucy could meet her namesake. My grandmother held her first great-grandchild in her arms, and we all stood there…in awe of the power of legacy. Lucy did great on her first flight, but the real medal goes to Ryan, who changed two blow-out diapers at 30,000 feet. Have I mentioned how much Lucy and I adore him? He’s the best husband and father I could have imagined.

And now to sleep (perhaps one of the more challenging aspects of first year parenthood). We started putting Lucy to bed earlier this month which did wonders for her mood. We had begun to suspect that her late evening fussiness was due to exhaustion, and so after reading several articles about sleep and infants, we began to put her down at 7:00 pm. Amazingly, she passed out right away and started sleeping through the night! Unfortunately, this gift was short-lasting because we’ve now hit what’s been termed the “4 month sleep regression.” We went from waking once a night, to sleeping through the night, to now waking up three or four times to nurse. I’m tired, and I’m also a bit cranky. But then I remind myself of the beauty of infant-hood and how quickly it all passes.

Lucille Amelia, you’re 4 months old now and you’re glorious in so many ways. The world is open and kind and waiting for you to make your mark. Our hope is that we help you find your way.

3 months of Lucille Amelia

Hard to believe, but we’ve had this little gem for over 13 weeks. As I type now, she coos and smiles at me. I read my writing out loud to her, so she listens to my blog posts and the new chapters of my memoir. Eventually, she’ll be reading, but as for now, she hears about baking, about family, about magical places we’ll one day go.

She gains strength and muscle control each day. Now when I hold her, she keeps her head up without any support. It won’t be long before she can sit by herself. On her 12th week birthday, she rolled over. Once for me and once for Ryan. More and more independence, which makes me both sad and proud. Motherhood, I guess!

I weighed her this morning on my bathroom scale, and she’s coming in a little over 14 lbs. She nurses all the time during the day. Probably every hour and a half. I don’t mind these times we spend together. She smiles now when she sees me lift up my shirt, and it makes all those difficult weeks of breastfeeding worth it. I wouldn’t trade this exchange for anything.

As for sleep? It also improved dramatically during the third month. She sleeps from ten to four without waking, and then we nurse once, and she goes back to sleep until seven. I’m more rested than I’ve been since delivering her, although I still can’t dip into that deep sleep I knew before. I’ve been told that sleep is never the same once you have children, and I think this is true. My first thought on waking? Her, always her.

And Lucy has found her voice. She babbles, she squeals, she yells. Even now, as I am trying to write and read these words out loud to her, she’s piping in with her own opinions. We have a feeling we’ll have a very talkative little girl. Margot is still her best friend and rarely leaves her side. Cricket is slowly slowly warming up to her.

I knew that being a mother would change my life, but I didn’t anticipate how this child would work her way into the deepest parts of me. I feel like my soul is divided amongst two bodies, and I carry her inside of me as well. What began in the womb now continues in the heart.

A huge thanks to my cousin, Andrea Robinson, who captured these beautiful photographs. She has a facebook page for her photography. I know she’d love a visit from you all!

Little Things

No recipe today, just simple shots of our life this past week. Tune back next Wednesday for a similar post! I’d also love to have you follow me on Instagram (@cakestand) if you’re interested in more photos of food and baby!

We take weekly (or maybe daily) trips to Whole Foods. She sleeps like an angel. I buy flowers.

A dear friend made me a beautiful necklace while pregnant. The necklace bears the patron saint of pregnant women and mothers. Lucille clings to it each time we nurse, making this necklace even more precious to me as a new mom.

My own dear mother went with me to Lucille’s 2 month doctor’s appointment…despite a broken foot! She’s a strong and beautiful woman. Without a doubt, she’s my hero.

And these two. Yes, Ryan and Lucy have matching moose shirts. Could they be any more adorable?

Lucy at 9 weeks. Enough said.

Chicken soup to help nurse my chest cold. I’m now convinced it takes longer to get over a sickness when you’re a mom.

Wearing my old romper!

And…don’t forget to enter my contest to win one of Ryan’s lovely necklaces! Vote using the web address above and then leave a comment on this blog post for a chance to win.

Monet

Anecdotes and Apple Cores

2 months of Lucille Amelia

I’m in process of compiling all my baby/pregnancy posts. I realized about two weeks ago that I could have made my life FAR easier by separating my pregnancy updates from my recipes…but you live and learn! So if you’re interested in reading about my pregnancy, you can now click on one of the four links below. And if you’re not feeling up to picture after picture of my pregnant self today, they’ll always be available in my Recipe Index under Baby (where you can find Lucy’s birth story too!).

My First Pregnancy Part 1

My First Pregnancy Part 2

My First Pregnancy Part 3

My First Pregnancy Part 4

And now onto Miss Lucille. It’s hard to believe that she’s already 2 months old! Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was waddling around, 40 weeks + 5 days, praying that this baby would come out? But then again, it’s now hard to imagine life without her.

Lucy is over 12 pounds now. She’s gained 4 pounds (all breastmilk) since delivery! Even though we had a few hard weeks of nursing, I’m grateful we stuck with it. Feeding her has easily become my favorite part of the day. I love the way her hand strokes my side as she nurses. The tiny scratch marks on my chest are reminders of the sweet times we share together. I love how my boobs (still tiny as ever) can miraculously get her to calm down. NO MATTER WHAT. And I love the way her eyes begin to droop after a few minutes of steady nursing. There is nothing like lulling a baby to sleep (especially after a morning of fussing).

But the best part of this last month has easily been watching Lucille smile. She recognizes Ryan and me now, which means we get big grins when we come into her view. I LOVE BABY SMILES. More than most anything in the world.

We walk everyday together. I snuggle her into the Moby Wrap and we take off before the sun gets strong. I think we’re walking at least two miles a day. She falls asleep as soon as we leave our block, listening to my heartbeat and enjoying the gentle rhythm of my pace. We also spend ample time with our sweet families. Grandma and Mimi take the cake. They see Lucy every week, if not more, and she loves being held by our sweet mamas.

Lucy also loves hearing her dad sing, and takes special delight in the Sunday School classic: This Little Light of Mine. Margot is still her biggest fan (besides Mom, Dad, Grandma, and Mimi, of course) and couldn’t be more protective. So yes, we are all happy and healthy and thankful for these two months of joy.

Monet

Anecdotes and Apple Cores

Breakfast (or how to write with a newborn)

I am typing while nursing. Not a small feat in case you haven’t tried. Lucy nurses around twelve times a day. While we spend most of those nursing sessions gazing into each others eyes, I have tried to take at least one or two to write. This is most often an unsuccessful endeavor, but I have had a few days where it’s worked. Lucy is content at my breast and my hands are free to pound out a sentence, a paragraph, a page.

This time last July, I was readying myself for the final year of my Masters of Fine Arts Program. I had spent the previous two years learning what it meant to be a writer and mucking around with poor attempts at short stories and novels. I eventually realized that my strongest work was personal–intensely personal–and I began writing short pieces that eventually became my thesis which will eventually (let’s hope!) become my memoir. Two weeks after Lucy’s birth, I received my diploma in the mail. I had made a baby and I had officially finished graduate school. 2013 was quite the year. Feelings of pride might have swelled if I didn’t feel like there was still so much work to be done. My memoir is about 75% complete, but those last thirty or forty pages feel as distant as the moon.

I am now typing with one hand while I hold Lucy with the other. As you might imagine, it’s slow going. But because this experiment is essential, I press on. I’m on a new journey to find a balance between motherhood and writing. This little baby is my greatest gift, and I hope that one day I’ll be able to sufficiently capture in words how much she means to me. But as for now, I’m just working on carving out space for my long-loved passion. Somehow, I must mother AND write.

And so this is one of the first lessons I’m learning: to hold on to what makes me smile, to what makes me sane. Because I imagine I’ll inspire Lucy far more with the passions I pursue than with those that I sacrifice. I want her to have a mother who nurtures others AND herself. And so, somehow, I’ll find time to finish my memoir, to continue writing. I’ll continue to make breakfasts like this: a scrambled egg sandwich with heaps of spinach between two thick slices of honey wheat bread. And Ryan and I will find time to be together, just the two of us. Maybe one day, I’ll even go visit a friend in New York on my own. But I’ll always come back to my greatest creation and my greatest joy. Because this truly is what motherhood is about. Lucille Amelia, you are more than my world. Your sweet face has worked its way into the very center of me. You are life.