Maybe it’s just me. Or other people who are leaving a period of intense loss. But I am often scared of what lies ahead. The unknown.
I was reminded of this character trait (maybe flaw?) as I flew from Denver to Austin last night. With each bump of the plane, my jaw clinched and I silently prayed for the rush of adrenaline that flooded my veins to subside.
And it’s not just flying. It’s bruises on my legs. It’s phone calls late at night. It’s being away from the people I love. Almost as if I am just waiting for the next tragedy. For another heartbreaking loss.
Whenever I fly, I look for children. Because in my world children never die in plane crashes (failed logic, I know).
But children offer me more than superstitious reassurance. They remind me how to cope.
Because most children, especially young children, are so caught up in the present moment that there is no space for fear. They are drowning in the sights and sounds around them. Their bodies are being touched by those that love them. Their are expanding with each new sensation.
As I held my new nephew this weekend, I was struck by his trust and acceptance. Here he was, just days from a dark womb, and he let us hold him, care for him. He had such little control. And it was a beautiful thing to watch–to see him sleep and know that he rested not in the statistical promise of tomorrow, but in the warmth of his family’s arms.
What if we all lived like this more? What if we realized that no matter what happens, we are never not part of this much larger whole?
I was sad to leave my family in Colorado. And I had more than one panic attack over the weekend. But I am here now. And I am resting in the knowledge that even though sadness and loss continues to happen, I am blanketed in a deep and unknowable love.
How this reflection relates to blueberry puff pastry croissants, I don’t exactly know. But I do love the way Halley looks as she holds them. And I do remember the delight these blueberry croissants brought my family. And Isn’t this what life is about? Loving and living and remembering all the good moments, along with the sad.
Blueberry Puff Pastry Croissants
7 ounces frozen all-butter puff pastry* from one 14-ounce package, thawed in refrigerator
1/2 cup fresh blueberries
Powdered sugar
*Defour is the brand of choice
1.Preheat your oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Unfold the puff pastry on the baking sheet and cut it into two 5-by-6 inch rectangles. Refrigerate until pastry is chilled, about 10 minutes.
2. Place 1/4 cup of fresh blueberries in the center of each pastry rectangle. Fold puff pastry over blueberries to form a triangle. Seal with moist fingers. Separate the triangles so they are evenly spaced. Bake the puff pastry for 25 minutes, or until nicely browned and crisp.
3. Allow blueberry puff pastry croissants to cool for ten minutes before dusting with powdered sugar.