I went to a sweet friend’s baby shower this afternoon. Of course, my own baby wanted to be the star of the show. She’s been fussy these past few days, and I should have known that her behavior would only intensify in the presence of others. I tried to nurse her, which meant I soon had milk running down my stomach and staining my shirt. At church, earlier that morning, I had to SOP milk off the chair I had nursed on. I’m talking PUDDLES ( I make A LOT of milk, which is both a blessing and a curse.)
So after my breast shot milk across the table and Lucy’s whimpers began to border on full-fledged yelps, I decided it was time for us to leave the shower. I carted her away in what’s quickly becoming my number one enemy: the car seat. Car seats are too heavy. I would pay someone a hefty sum to an invent a car seat that is remarkably safe while also being under two pounds.
If you can sense an air of discouragement in this post, you wouldn’t be far off the mark. I’m tired and on edge. I feel like a good night’s sleep, a long bath, and a dinner out with Ryan would do me some real good…but as you know, infants don’t allow for much “me” time.
But perhaps what I truly needed today, I did actually receive. Because before I left the baby shower, I got to hear the wisdom and words of the women in attendance. We each went around and gave advice to the mother-to-be. I know I wasn’t the only one that teared up during this timeless transmission. Women (old, young, mothers, not-mothers) shared their hearts and wisdom. We reminded each other of the value in MOTHER. Because we were all children once, and if we were lucky, we remember what it felt like to be so completely loved.
And so I must remember this. My daughter is more than I could have imagined. She stretches me, she breaks me, she captivates me. I bring her to my breast now and she smiles as she nuzzles close. Her laughter is richer than any sound I’ve heard. Her unintelligible syllables are far more moving than any line of poetry I’ve read. And when she sighs as she rests her head on my chest and I can feel her breath deepen as she falls asleep, I know that what I’m doing–mothering–is the both the best and the hardest job in the world.
And in the culinary world: This deconstructed spring roll salad made an appearance on our dining room table a few weeks ago. They make for an immensely popular appetizer or a light weekday lunch. The first batch I made was gone within minutes. The tangy sauce, the crispy wonton shell, and the flavorful pork made for food that was delightful to eat and to admire.
Deconstructed Spring Roll Salad
*From McCormick Spices
2 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons sesame oil
1 tablespoon chopped chives
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 tablespoon red chili sauce
2 boneless pork chops, 1/2 inch thick
1/2 cup carrots
5 cups spring green mix
12 wonton wrappers
Mix fish sauce, vinegar, sesame oil, sugar, chives, soy sauce and chili sauce in small bowl with wire whisk until well blended. Reserve 1/2 of the vinaigrette. Place pork chops in resealable plastic bag or glass dish. Add remaining vinaigrette; toss to coat well. Refrigerate 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Spray both sides of wonton wrappers with no stick cooking spray. Place a 12-cup muffin tin upside down. Press a wonton wrapper around the outside of each muffin cup. Bake 3 to 5 minutes or until wonton wrappers are lightly browned. Cool on wire rack.
Grill or broil pork chops until desired doneness. Cool slightly. Cut into thin strips. Mix salad greens, pork and carrot in large bowl. Add reserved vinaigrette; toss to coat well. Fill wonton cups with salad mixture. Serve immediately.
Yes, M and E are just two separate letters in the word MOTHER, there is not a lot of “me” in actually being a mother. I started my blog a few months after my second baby was born because I was desperate to have a corner all to myself as a person, an adult and not just as a mother, and I think it makes me a better one. Being a mom is tough and tiring yet also beautiful and incredible and a miracle, which is probably what keeps us going… Hang in there, the first months are definitely the hardest under some aspects.
I remember a few parties/get-togethers that ended like that in Lila’s early days. When she was, gosh, seven months old (doesn’t seem like very long ago!!), we went home to Louisiana for Thanksgiving, and went over to my aunt’s house one night for a housewarming party. I ended up having to leave the party because Lila was just SO fussy. When we got back into the car to go home, both Lila and I were sobbing, ha. Seems funny now, but at the time, I was SO…tired, upset, sad– I just thought, “God, is this motherhood?!” And partly, it is. But the other part– the part that you wrote about– the sighs, the giggles, the coos– that part outweighs the fuss. And truly, I look back on that November night and I just laugh now– we were a hot mess, ha! It sounds like you already have a great perspective of taking the bad with the good when it comes to motherhood– that was a difficult lesson for me to learn, and honestly, probably one that I’m still learning.
Whoa, long comment– have a great Monday, Monet!
I can only imagine how tired you must be some days, in body and spirit. I’m so glad that even when life goes wonky, you can still experience beautiful moments that nourish and sustain you. XO
Sigh. there are so many ups and downs to motherhood I’m sure, but I bet all of them are beautiful in their own way!
These deconstructed spring rolls look like the perfect grab-and-go bites!
Monet, I love reading your posts- you’re such a wonderfully expressive writer. I can literally feel the emotion as my eyes scroll down the page. I’m sorry Lucy has been fussy lately. I can’t offer any motherly advice, as I’m not yet a mother, but I’m sure that one day soon you’ll look back on this time fondly despite how you’re feeling now! And these salads look delicious 🙂
The “down” times are the times you are likely to forget over time. When they nudge their way into your thoughts, you’ll tend to smile and dismiss them as a slight bump in the mothering road. In fact, there could come a time when you’ll wish them back–that will be a long, long time in coming though! Maybe the day you drop Lucy off at college?
Best,
Bonnie
I can relate. I don’t think I ever sat down for long, for a lunch or anything when my son was a baby. It does get easier as they get older… Meanwhile, this deconstructed spring roll salad would boost my spirits. Looks delicious!
Beautiful. I remember those days like it were yesterday. They break us down and build us up again. As I look back I understand that these trials are an essential part of what makes us mothers. At the time, I was more than on occasion, maybe a bit like you, overwhelmed and exhausted. I was also in awe of women who were ahead of me on the curve — a beautiful nurse friend who assisted me in my darkest moments with breastfeeding. I looked at her kind and beautiful maturing eyes and admired the photo of her robust and healthy teenage boys — it gave me courage and hope and allowed me to understand that I too, like all the mothers who came before me, could do this… I held on to that thought in the toughest moments — it gave me warmth, comfort and perspective – xo.
I really hope you all feel better soon! I wish I was able to give some advice, but I’m not a mother yet. Anyway, I do think that you’re a wonderful one even if they’re days when you may feel a bit more tired!
These salads look super cute and amazing. What an original idea c:
Do you carry around the carseat because Lucy sleeps in it? If so I can see how it would be a blessing and a curse! My guy never slept in the carseat,so I didn’t carry him around in it- it’s one of the reasons I’m a fan of babywearing – those things are heavy! Plus not having a free hand and all that.
I love these little wonton cups of salads – it’s one of my favorite ways to serve salads at parties, because they’re easy to pick up and eat with one hand. Especially good if you’re juggling a baby too.
She often falls asleep in her carseat…I would prefer to baby wear her all the time, but often she’s most content in the seat!
Those first few months are the hardest. You are still getting to know each other. I remember going to my dad’s wedding when my little one was 4 months old and she cried pretty much the entire time. I nursed her and my husband spent the entire time I wasn’t nursing her pacing back and forth with her to calm her down (she loved to be walked around). As soon as we got in the car to head home she calmed down. It was a total 180. I was so embarrassed though because she had been so fussy and we were unable to calm her down.
It gets so much better and changes so much. You will look back mostly on the sweet laughs and the smell of her hair during cuddles. I am so sorry you had that happen at a shower. It can feel so alienating.
I am excited to try these spring rolls. They sound delicious.
I can’t even imagine how much a baby changes who you are as a person – it seems so beautiful, challenging and immense to me. Someday I’ll experience it for myself – until then all I will say is that you have a beautiful way with words and how lovely it will be to have all of your time with Lucy documented, not just the highlights, but the challenges too as these are what make the highlights even more memorable.
Martina
I just love the idea of a deconstructed spring roll. Whenever we went out to eat at one of our favorite restaurants in DC we always ordered spring rolls. This is such a unique way to enjoy them at home! I can’t imagine how tiring having a baby must be – I hope that you get a few minutes soon to enjoy a hot bath : )
Ahhhh, I remember those days. Such a sweet time yet so many challenges. My youngest is 4 now and SO big. It’s hard to keep your sanity at times but find as much peace and joy in snuggling your wee one.
Just such a beautiful post in every way, my dear!!! And this salad will be happening for sure! xo
I’m so jealous about your “milk puddles” ! I don’t have much breast milk so my baby was starving for a few days at the begin. That’s why I start half formula and half breast milk. Lucy is a lucky little girl. 🙂
Totally agreed with you about the infant car seat! I would pay lots money for a lighter car seat.
Thank you for sharing this post. It put a big smile on my face.
Great deconstruction!
Your posts make me excited for motherhood. Sure, there are the frustrations but the moments of utter adoration are simply the best and the words I take most to heart. I love following your journey and seeing how far you’ve come. Hopefully you can have a break soon! I know I will love these spring roll salads. The ingredients are some of my favorites. Happy Monday!
We nicknamed my youngest “Screech”… She came home from the hospital with the Flu- took up residence in her intestines until her immune system finally kicked in. She was horribly colicky and *hated* the carseat… I wore my babies, so the carseat always stayed in the car- but when she was 6 mos old I took a job in another city a 45 min drive away. Fortunately, I could bring her to work with me- unfortunately for us- she would scream the full 45 minutes coming and going. It felt like we didn’t leave the house her first year… Totally opposite of my first who we took anywhere and everywhere at about day 8.
You are right to cherish these moments- even the awkward ones- any of us who’ve nursed children at length have been there! And weaning is bittersweet. Love your wontons! I’m still trying to figure out how to deep fry a GF equivalent!
My heart is with you. I also had tons of milk and it brought back so many memories of being soaked. Those car seats are so heavy. Now I carry around a tiny purse. After car seats and big diaper bags I only want the smallest purse possible, lol!
You look so beautiful with your baby! Happy fall 🙂
I love this post! A few close friends recently had babies, so I’m definitely sharing with them 🙂 Oh, and this salad looks so perfect, too!
Your words are so sweet, you’re such a great mama! It’s endearing to see. 🙂
I love that these snacks are grab and go, great for parties and get togethers!
I hope you are feeling better Monet. I understand how hard it can be. Hang in there. These spring rolls look really delicious.
Oh, Monet, I remember those difficult first few months of being a mother. Emily cried all the time, and I was so exhausted. I remember taking her out of a Gymboree class once because she was being so fussy, and because the leader kept asking me “Have you fed her?” “Have you changed her diaper?” I just remember feeling completely inadequate to raise this child. Nineteen years and one child later, I still occasionally wonder if I have what it takes, but know that unconditional love is where it all starts.
Sounds like those words of wisdom from the other ladies came at the perfect time! And how great do these little salad cups look? YUM!
Hi,
The picture of you and your dauther is so beautiful! Thanks for your comments and the others also about motherwood… so I know what to espect in few months and I will not start to dispair when I will be in the same situation.
Ciao.
I hope that you get some much-needed rejuvenation soon! These salads look beautiful and delicious!
These are too cute, I love it. I adore handheld nommies 😀
this is such a nice reminder. Sending you lots of hugs <3
I can remember thinking, “When will this frustrating phase end?” and at the same time wanting time to slow to keep these moments lasting longer. It seems as though the very frazzling times are mixed in with the priceless ones, which may intend to make things more balanced. I’m so glad that you are enjoying your wee one. She is so beautiful and I love seeing her beautiful face every time you share it with us! You are such a sweet mommy. She is so fortunate to have you.
These deconstructed salads are absolutely perfect for a lunch when you only have time for bites here and there! These will be perfect for family dinners and mingling. 🙂
These snacks are the perfect appetiser actually, and so creative 😀
Cheers
CCU
I remember feeling that way with Jacob and Elise, the early months are the most trying and rewarding.
Your hair in that last photo is amazing. So pretty!
Appetizers for dinner. Works for me. As do the photos of your daughter. I feel like I’m getting to watch her change with every post. GREG
Monet, another lovely and touching post. I really admire how you write so honestly and lovingly about both the best and the hardest things about parenting. Although I can’t yet speak from experience, I imagine that it’s this very combination, the intersection of “best” and “hardest” that makes mothering so rewarding.
I love these beautiful appetizers! It’s a fun and fresh yet sophisticated version of the classic spring roll.
I was right there with you Monet. In the early months I didn’t go very many places because I was worried about my daughter being fussy and wasn’t very comfortable nursing in public. We did have occasions where we left early because we weren’t able to console her. It is frustrating and you feel left out sometimes. Eventually, everything will get easier! I hated carrying around her car seat too, it is SO heavy and my arms used to ache all the time from carrying it around. She liked to sleep in there too though, so I went with what would soothe her!
Oh, Monet, you shared the joys and stresses of motherhood so beautifully. For every tough moment, there will we be elation. I think the lack of sleep was the biggest challenge. I’m sure all the other moms remember being in your shoes. And you had these yummy spring roll appetizers to put a smile on your face…at least they’d put a huge smile on mine! Take good care. xo
This was a wonderful post – I so hope that you can get a little break and some time to centre yourself soon. I loved hearing about the transmission of wisdom at that baby shower. We ladies have a lot of love to give.
monet – your life is so full right now! so very lucky and lucky for those around you… great. now i’m hungry all of a sudden 😉
Just mouthwatering….looks delicious!
What a beautiful love note to motherhood! I always love reading your thoughts on, well, anything, but I’ve especially enjoyed and appreciated when you share both the happiness and difficulties of being a mother. Lucy is so lucky to have you watching out for her and guiding her as she grows. *hugs* I hope you’ll have a little “me” time very soon.
P.S. That last picture of you and little Lucy – gorgeous 🙂
I love this recipe! I love fresh spring rolls and always think to make them for parties but I know they won’t work because the wrapper will dry out. This is the perfect solution! Also, Lucy is so lucky to have a mom like you!
Beautiful photo of you and Lucy. Thanks for being YOU and sharing everything that you are feeling these days. Motherhood is tough, but you are doing a GREAT job!!
I have a special appreciation for bloggers who are new mothers and yet can squeeze in time to create recipes. I could never imagine doing it all 🙂
Beautiful post…. as usual…
Loved the photos, and the recipe too – amazing that you can find the time and energy to compose such thoughtful posts!