Some days come easier than others. I love being a mother, but I had no idea how difficult it would be to find balance between motherhood and my own creative passions. I had no idea how guilty I’d feel for leaving her with a stranger, a friend, or even a family member. I had no idea how gut-wrenching it would be to hear her cry because I wasn’t right beside her…or because I wasn’t going to nurse her for the 100th time that morning. And yet, I’m realizing, more and more, how crucial it is for my health AND her health for there to be times of separation. Not long or lasting, these moments of separation allow both of us to learn more about ourselves and the world we live in.
So we’re working towards that goal, and right now, it’s messy. She screams when I hand her off, and I just have to tell myself, “this is good for her, this is good for you,” over and over again as I walk away. Of course, when I return, there is much joy and laughter and baby kisses. But those agonizing thirty or forty minutes are hard on both of us.
The good news is that I’m carving out time for me to write. For those of you who don’t know, I have my MFA in Fiction, and my soul breathes so much freer when I’m putting in an hour or two of writing each day. I’m also carving out time to sit and stare. To allow my mind to wander as I sip on a cup of coffee or eat a sweet snack like these walnut oatmeal muffins. As a mother and as an American, it’s hard not to get up in the constant go-go-go mentality. I’m learning that in these moments away from Lucy, I need to slow down, think, examine, and rest.
These walnut oatmeal muffins are the product of several weeks of experimentation. I made about four batches before I hit on the right ingredients and proportions, but now I’m so happy with them that I make a new batch every week. They are slightly sweet, warming, and full of chopped walnuts. They make the perfect mid-morning energy boost. I eat one along with my cappuccino most every day.
Walnut Oatmeal Muffins
1 cup cooked oatmeal
4 tablespoons melted butter
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 banana, mashed
1/2 cup coconut sugar
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup walnuts, chopped
Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit and line a standard muffin pan with paper liners.
In a large bowl, combine cooked oatmeal, melted butter, beaten eggs, and mashed banana. Stir until combined and set aside. In a smaller bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Toss walnuts in flour mixture. Gently fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients, stirring only until combined.
Scoop batter into prepared muffin pan. Bake in preheated oven for 15-18 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow to cool for five minutes in pan before removing.
Ah, balance — that ever-elusive dream for all of us! Though I’m not yet a parent, I can appreciate what you’re saying and am sure I’ll someday face the same challenges. But I’m sure carving out that time to write is wonderful for you.
These muffins look and sound great! I’m on a total muffin kick lately . . . probably just gearing up early for fall and all its pumpkin-laced awesomeness. 🙂
Separation is hard, but you’re right that it’s something you both need. But it’s definitely hard. Glad you’re finding time to write, and delighted you made these muffins for us! Wonderful dish — thanks.
I don’t know how familiar you are with the AP philosophy – I personally tend to pick and choose aspects that work for us, but one of the components is balance. Because you have to be the best you, so that you can be the best mom. Take care of yourself!
Im not a parent yet but ever since I have had bailey (my shih tzu pup), i cant imagine the kind of feelings moms go through..its HARD. These muffins on the other hand look delicious, i have never made on with cooked oatmeal, very interesting.
awww I know it must be hard to leave Lu but I think you’re 100% right that it’s good for the 2 of you!!
And you’re able to create beautiful stories and warm and delicious, hearty muffins!
You’ve captured perfectly that balance that we all need, that happy medium behind pursuing our passions and nourishing ourselves, while knowing that we are doing our best as mothers. I remember that guilt well! Gosh, I remember never doing well in a yoga class that first year as a mom, as all I could think of was my daughter – letting go and relaxing was not something I could do! Ah, glad you are carving out time, for writing, and for muffins 🙂
Great recipe but I especially love the styling! What a cute idea to put it on the cork 🙂
Mmmm these look perfect on busy days!!
These muffins look beautiful! I love adding walnuts 🙂
It is true that having a little independent time is so important. : ) These muffins sound lovely, I love the ingredient list. I am pinning this to try, soon I’ll be having a muffin with my coffee right along with you! ; )
I can’t speak from experience, but I am sure that you are right in that the separation is good for you. And I’m glad for you that you have time to write and to be yourself, I think that will make you a better mother in the long run 🙂
Also, these muffins sound absolutely delicious!
It must be so hard! I am not a parent but my friends are and they speak about the difficulty finding a balance between their children and their creative endeavours!
These sound lovely. I think I have everything on hand to make them.
Leaving children is hard. My little girl goes off to preschool this Monday and I am dreading the tears and having to leave her.
What a perfect flavor! I love these! Just beautiful!
I can’t even imagine how hard it must be to find that balance…i’m already dreading it myself. I’m glad you’ve been able to carve some time for yourself though. I think it’s crucial to being able to be a good mommy! And these muffins sound delicious 🙂
It sounds like you’re on the right track to achieving the balance. It’s difficult with a toddler, my DIL struggles with it and working. You’re muffins look great, love walnut flavor! Have a good fun weekend!
I really adore your writing, so I can imagine that your novel will be plain beautiful! And I’m not a mother, but I’m pretty sure you are a fantastic one! Separating is a normal thing.
Also, tehse muffins look delicious! Perfect with a cuppa 🙂
Balance in this day and age is so hard – let alone with a baby. Glad you’re finding time for for yourself when you can – love the muffins.
I’m so glad you’re making time alone for both of you – that is so wise and healthy. XO I’m learning the same thing in my world. I work from home and it’s so easy to let other things, people, animals take preference over my work. But I’m learning to make time for BOTH and it is so much better. 🙂
That is so awesome that you have your MFA! And as hard as I’m sure it is, that is great that you are taking some time for you to do things that you like! I don’t have children yet, but I’m sure it is so hard to find that balance. You deserve some alone time to stare out the window and eat these delicious muffins 🙂
Aw what sweet muffins, love the walnut on top!
Aaw, it must be tough having to leave Lucy but I’m glad that you are finding some time for yourself and writing. I would love to have one of these delectable muffins every morning, they look and sound amazing!
I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but you’re right, you both need it and it is healthy indeed. I hope to read something of yours, I am very curious. If it’s half good as your cooking and photography I will be very jealous, hahaha. And I am sure I will be. I love to read your posts and to read fiction will be interesting as well.