11/52

1152I finally got a good night of sleep. And oh how I needed it. Only sleeping for 1 to 2 hour chunks of time is not good for your body or your soul. Thankfully, after Ryan and I went on a lovely date in Denver, we came home to a sweet grandma and a very tired baby. After nursing, Lucy fell right asleep…and stayed asleep for FIVE HOURS. I woke up, with banana bread beside me, and looked at the clock. “Five hours,” I exclaimed, “thank God!”

For the past several weeks, Lucy will wake during the night and then panic when she can’t find us (even though we’re sleeping right beside her). It’s evident she’s realized that she belongs to us and we belong to her.

So yes, separation anxiety has been at an all-time high. She gets upset when I leave the room, let alone leave the house. The tears and screams have been hard, but I’m so grateful that I have a baby who wants to be close to her mama.

LuMomBecause I can’t tell you how much I love the quiet moments we share together. The way she crawls up beside me to nuzzle her head close to my chest. Or how she blows on my bare stomach only to erupt in that near perfect baby laughter

We are finding new ways to show love to each other, and it’s glorious.

I don’t know if I have ever felt like this for another human being. I love Ryan so much and I know he loves me the same, but there is something different about having a child. The love I have for Lucy is intense and scary and beautiful and all–consuming. It is teaching me so much about faith and trust. I don’t know how I will ever let her go… even though I know every parent must. The lesson will be a hard but important one. Thankfully, I have years to go. And so, in the meantime, we will enjoy snuggling together, dancing together, eating together, sleeping together, and the list goes on and on.

And thank you again for your continued support and love. I have received some of the sweetest messages over the past few weeks. We are so thankful for each one of you.

Family

13 thoughts on “11/52

  1. Christina

    Monet, I haven’t commented in a long time, but I do read frequently. I know all too well how wonderful getting a solid few hours of sleep is! We just had two months of a bad sleep regression, my daughter was waking up every two or three hours crying for me. It was hard. I knew it was separation anxiety as well. My advice to you would be to comfort her and show her that you’re there, but gradually, allow her to have more and more time to herself. Of course this could be a short lived phase and she could be fine in no time. But like you said, it is wonderful knowing how much she needs you. It’s all about balance and I think you’re doing an amazing job.

  2. sallybr

    The last photo, black and white of the three of you is a work of art… Please, please, frame it and place it in your home in a place where you can look at it often… and feel warm and thrilled for the life you both brought to the planet

    just beautiful…. made my day!

  3. Kate

    Separation anxiety is hard! And it gets worse. And then goes away. And rears its ugly head again later. It sounds like you have a good attitude about it though, recognizing that it’s just a part of life.

  4. Becky

    Monet,
    Such gorgeous pictures, and the last one regarding the love that you have for each other. and Lucy. Just as Lucy grows and develops, your relationship with her evolves, as well. Glad that you are getting more sleep:)

  5. ATasteOfMadness

    This is such a sweet post. Looking at Lucy, I can definitely see how getting little to no hours of sleep is so worth having her in your life. What a sweetheart!

  6. Joanne

    Such a beautiful family!! And I’m sure all the tears and crying is tough, especially when you just want to make it go away, but I’m sure it will fade with time!

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